Meals and Muggles
by Epona's Chosen
Summary: "Muggles eat dinosaurs?" Luna asked, horrified. "I thought they were extinct, where do they get the meat from?" Dudley took in her mortified expression and roared with laughter. Luna gazed at him, bewildered. "Luna, my sweet Luna, they aren't made of dinosaurs. They're normally made out of turkey and shaped into little dinosaurs, it's for children." Dudley and Luna's first date.


**Another entry for the School Subjects Competition, this one for the class Muggle Studies. I hope you enjoy!**

**A thank you to my beta reader littlemissreadalcoholic!**

**EDIT: I'd just like to add that I got second in this competition, I'm so proud! :D**

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Dudley was nervous. Tonight, he was going on a date with Luna Lovegood. His parents would be horrified. She was a witch. He'd met a few witches and wizards after properly apologising to Harry for how he'd treated him, and most of them were normal. Luna was certainly not, he'd met her after an unfortunate incident in a wizard bar, which Dudley shouldn't have been in. Luna had saved him and when he'd walked her to what she had called an "apparition point", she'd told him how she knew Harry Potter. Her name had been familiar; Ginny had gone out for coffee with her and another girl named Hermione.

But after the eventful evening, Dudley had felt drawn towards Luna. She was so wonderfully wacky that it was enticing. He'd got up the courage to ask her out on a date. Dudley was going back to that same apparition point where he would meet her at precisely 7:02pm. He didn't question it, he found himself quite liking her quirks.

Dudley had on a white dress shirt and a smart pair of dark jeans with a more formal jacket. He'd grown into his body well. All that chubbiness was gone with many hours at the gym or on the sports' field and he was now all muscle with broad shoulders and an overall well defined figure.

He was taking her out to a restaurant he often visited. It wasn't particularly upper-class, but it was full of weird ornaments and colourful decorations. It was quaint little place that had excellent food. He had a feeling Luna would like it.

Dudley walked to the apparition point, he would have driven but it wasn't a very long walk and the restaurant had no car parking. He had only been there a few minutes when at exactly two minutes past seven, there was a loud crack like a car misfiring and Luna appeared in front of him looking more beautiful to his eyes than ever before.

She was dressed in a knee-length, strapless dress which had obviously been hand-painted. It flared out slightly at the waist and was white, painted with blue and green swirls, a hint of pink sneaking in every so often. It had a black sash around the waist and she was wearing her radish earrings again with her Butterbeer cap necklace swinging around her neck. She wasn't wearing heels, instead she was wearing a pair of flat, white ballet pumps, which meant she barely passed Dudley's shoulders. She looked angelic, fairylike and much too innocent to be seen with such a muscular, athletic man. But he wouldn't have wanted her any other way. He smiled at Luna.

"You look beautiful," he told her, holding out his hand for her. She smiled happily, taking his hand and kissing his cheek after he kissed hers.

"Thank you," she said, "you look very handsome." Dudley blushed faintly and began to lead her down the street. "Where are we going?" Luna inquired.

"To The Cup and Saucer," he said, "it's a little restaurant near the town centre."

"It sounds sweet," Luna said with a smile as they walked.

When they reached the restaurant, Dudley held the door open for Luna. She thanked him and stepped inside. A few diners looked oddly at Luna's attire, but she was too captivated by all the strange objects to notice. He smiled at the look on her face; it was as he had hoped.

"Table for two?" the waiter asked. Dudley nodded.

"I reserved a table, under the name Dursley."

"This way, sir, ma'am," the waiter said, leading them to a private booth near the back of the restaurant.

Dudley pulled the chair out for Luna, getting a smile as a reward. He then moved around to take his own seat.

They conversed about the menu with ease. With Dudley explaining some items of food that Luna had never heard of.

"What's spaghetti carbonara?" Luna inquired.

"It's an Italian pasta dish, with an egg and bacon sauce," Dudley explained, "it's actually what I'm going to have."

"It sounds delicious." Luna said with a wide smile. "How about a burger and chips? I know what chips are, but a burger sounds most odd."

"It's meat, usually beef, which has been, mashed up, I suppose, and formed into a circle of meat a few centimetres thick," he said with a smile.

Suddenly Luna's eyes stopped moving and remained on one particular food item.

"What's wrong?" Dudley asked.

"Muggles eat dinosaurs?" Luna asked, horrified. "I thought they were extinct, where do they get the meat from?" Dudley took in her mortified expression and roared with laughter. Luna gazed at him, bewildered.

"Luna, my sweet Luna, they aren't made of dinosaurs. They're normally made out of turkey and shaped into little dinosaurs, it's for children."

Luna looked a little perturbed.

"Children are encouraged to eat dinosaurs? And it also says 'smiley faces'. Are they made out of turkey too?"

"No, smiley faces are made from potato, it's like a variation of a chip. They come in the shape of a cartoon face," Dudley said, unable to hide his grin.

"What's a cartoon?" Luna asked, getting even more confused.

"You've never heard of a cartoon?" Dudley asked, amazed.

"No... I've heard of cars, and a toon is like a song, right?" she asked, a little unsure.

Dudley smiled at her with affection. "I believe you are thinking of a tune," he said. "Although music is used, cartoons have little to do with cars or music. I'll show you one sometime." Luna blushed faintly.

"I'd like that," she said.

"Decided what you want to eat yet?" he asked her with a gentle smile.

"Yes, I'll have _Pot-au-feu_. I had it at Fleur and Bill's once, and it was delicious,"she said with a wide smile.

Dudley didn't have a clue who those people were, but he nodded and signaled for the waiter.

"May I take your order?" the waiter asked ordered both of their meals, proud when he didn't stumble over the French.

"Two cokes to drink," he added on the end. Luna looked at him curiously once again after the waiter had left.

"What is coke?"

"Wait and see," he said with a smile, "you'll love it."

The cokes came a few minutes after and Luna's eyes had brightened after tasting it.

"This is delicious!" she proclaimed happily, drinking the rest of it. He laughed, grinning happily at her and ordered her another.

"I told you so."

The meal passed with Dudley letting her taste his carbonara, her questioning tohow pasta was made – something he wasn't so sure of himself–and how Muggles managed to create such amazing food without magic. He'd shrugged at that, he wasn't much of a cook, he could manage basic meals but as soon as technique was needed, he failed miserably. That was why he was rather fond of his microwave, he told her this and it was followed up by a basic explanation of a microwave. She was fascinated.

He told her about the Muggle world. He gave up trying to explain the internet since all he knew was that it worked and it was the closest to magic normal Muggles would get. The television was a huge hit and he was hoping he'd be able to take her to the cinema sometime. He was surprised they didn't have electricity; it seemed such a standard thing nowadays – he couldn't really explain that much either.

Transport was something that had them talking for ages. Dudley prided himself in knowing quite a lot about vehicles, especially cars, and soon Luna had more understanding of how a car worked that the normal Muggle, apart from mechanics and enthusiasts that is. He promised to take her out for a drive in his new car, a red Ferrari. He explained buses, trains, subways, even aeroplanes and helicopters to his captivated companion.

The talk was easily continued through the entire meal, it flowed without anything remotely rocky and Luna's responses continued to amuse him, he found her absolutely adorable.

"What do you want for dessert?" he asked her as the sweet menu was given to them.

"Treacle pudding," she replied, her eyes shining. "I love pudding." He smiled fondly at her.

"I'm going to have lemon meringue pie," he said. "It's one of my favourites here."

Their desserts arrived and Luna offered him a mouthful of her treacle pudding which Dudley tasted, licking his lips afterwards.

"This is an amazing restaurant." she said.

"I know, I come here often," he said with a grin.

The clock struck nine and a little, yellow cuckoo popped out the clock above their heads, causing them both to temporarily jump and she giggled.

"I've never seen one of them before."

"It's a cuckoo clock," he said. "There was one in my parents' house."

"I'd love one; it's such a pretty noise."

"If you let me take you on another date, I'll buy you one," he promised. She blushed faintly.

"I'd be happy to go on another date with you."

Dudley beamed. He had just experienced the best night of his life. It had been perfect, and now he had another amazing day to look forward too.

"That's great!" he said happily.

"But this time, I'm introducing you to the Wizarding World..."

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**Good? Okay? Awful? Supermegafoxyawesomehot? Let me know your thoughts, opinions, feelings!**


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